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Why I love stupid people

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people are so full of doubts." -- Bertrand Russell.

In a perfect world, that would have been my post and I could have left it at that and moved on towards my other must-dos for the day, namely shaving my cats to make `em look like Yoda. But far be it to leave you hanging there just like that, every good jerk deserves a wet wipe. So let me flesh it out for you.

You. Yes, you reading. You're probably wondering whether I think you're stupid and you're also probably wondering if you're gonna leave here thinking dark, nasty thoughts about sweet ole me. Don't be schizoid - firstly, you're likely my friend, so you're intelligent by association, secondly it's christmas time and i want my pressies, thirdly it took six months for the stab wound to heal the last time I called someone stupid to their face. So allright, you guys are `effin geniuses allright. I'm talking about all the other morons in the world...uhmm..other? heh heh. I mean, everybody save you.

So what's wrong with the world today? Too many stupid people in charge. Now stupid doesn't neccessarily mean , George Bush stupid or Paris Hilton Stupid, although that would be a good reference and starting point. Oh no no no no, my dear reader. Stupid means refusing to think for yourself and merely parroting and repeating any ideology that solidifies the beliefs one clings ever so desperately to in an ever-changing world.

I hate these goddamn either-or people. Either-or? You know, either you're this or you're that, either you're with us or you're against us. What kinda 'effin way is that to live life? You're either one of two things at any one time? To that I say - go sniff some jock-straps, fool. To these mindless rigid arse-scratching zealots, the entire world is cast very neatly into black and white. That might be generalising things a bit, but let's see how it applies to certain real world scenarios.

Religion : bloody absolutist belief systems. Either you're a christian or you're a- disbelieving satan- worshipping- heathen- who's- going- straight- to- hell. Now they won't say that out loud, but you know that's what they're thinking when they try to "save you". The question here, is save you from what? They're all thinking the same bloody thing, this pagan is going straight to hell and it's his divine mission to save my indian ass. Dude, the only reason hell is at all attractive is cos if heaven's where you're gonna be hanging out all of eternity, I'm pitching a tent outside Zhenghua Primary and giving out cigarettes to the kiddies - getting a headstart on that whole sin thing.

Politics : Ahhhh, politics - from the greek word 'polis' for city. A noble and magnificent thing it was back in those days. Serpico, Socrates- bunch of dudes in robes sitting around the agorapolis discussing philosophy, whether they should rustle up some homeys to pull down the skirts of their neighbours , the Spartans- ahh, those were the days. What do we have now? Bunch of pansy, yellow-livered, crotch sniffing charlatans intent on defining absolutes to ensure that their bonking with their "PR" assistant goes uninterrupted.

Sex : Since I've gotten started, let's continue attacking our most cherished beliefs. You're either male or female, right? Wrong-O! Just take a walk down Orchard Boulevard, he-she central of Singapore. I see the way Singaporeans avert their eyes when they walk past , like these people somehow fell out of a strictly defined code of human existence. Few things are absolute in life, they wanna explore other avenues of life, other experiences. Hell, we want more mavericks in singapore society? Can't get any more maverick-y than that, can we now? These guys(gals) are the pioneers, the trail-blazers. Let's give them their own contingent at the National Day Parade.

What else on this. Oh yeah, we're absolutely straight or queer. Bollocks to that. For all our veneration of Roman and Greek Culture, the underpinnings of western philosophy - it was perfectly acceptable for well-to-do men with families to have young male lovers. In fact, it was encouraged. How's that for all those nut-job conservatives perpetually harking back to the good old classical days of the city-state. Not so attractive now eh, you bible- thumping right wing freakshows.

So it's basically this, life isn't this wonderfully defined pattern we just move through where everything is neatly ordered. We constantly move around through a cultural matrix which presents us with new dilemmas and solutions. No issue is ever all that simple, no solution ever solves anything without creating new needs for new solutions. Life is bloody complex, and only a stupid sunnava-mutanttoad would tell you that life is a walk in the park. Sure, we could live life on a very superficial level, engage in nice hedonistic pursuits and you simplify life that way - earn more money, spend more money, buy nice coffin. But what's the fun in that? Why live life with blinkers on?

So why do I love stupid people?

They keep me thinking.

God, I love stupid people.